I miss knowing that Michael Jackson was with us on Earth in the physical form

I miss Michael Jackson.

I'm 182.5 pounds now...woohooo!!!!!!

Soon I'll be in the 170's. So far I've lost about 20lbs this year!!!

Did I tell you about the acting demo course? If you follow me on Twitter you already know ; - >

I think I found the perfect acting school for me! I attended an acting demo workshop on Tues night and it was absolutely amazing! I now have 2 acting schools that I like. I am going to audit from about 2 more and then make my final decision for the winter. I work at night now so I cannot fit acting classes into my schedule but maybe by winter's end I will be making more money at my day job and will not need to work at night thereby freeing time for acting classes.

Until then...

SOLD: ATTACKING ANXIETY CDS/DVDS

I got a pretty good bid for my Attacking Anxiety CDs/DVDs on Ebay today!!

SOLD TO THE HIGHEST BIDDER. I MIGHT PURCHASE THIS PROGRAM AGAIN IN THE FUTURE BUT FOR SOME REASON ITS NOT WORKING WELL FOR ME RIGHT NOW. NOT THE CONTENT BUT JUST THE FACT THAT I HAVE TO LISTEN TO THE CDS AND WATCH THE DVDS REGULARLY JUST DOESN'T WORK WITH ME B/C I HAVE LIMITED TIME AND WHEN I AM ON THE TRAIN I'D RATHER LISTEN TO MUSIC OR I'LL FALL ASLEEP AND WHEN I'M HOME I'D RATHER WATCH A TV SHOW SINCE I HARDLY HAVE TIME AT ALL TO WATCH TV SO ITS KIND OF DIFFICULT TO FIT THIS INTO MY SCHEDULE AND KEEP IT EXCITING.

I DO THINK ITS A PRETTY GOOD PROGRAM AND IT REMINDS ME OF COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY AND I DO RECOMMEND IT FOR THOSE WHO CAN STICK TO IT. ANYWAY, I OWE THE COMPANY MONEY B/C THEY DIDN'T RECEIVE THE PRODUCT BACK BEFORE THE TRIAL PERIOD ENDED SO I'VE BEEN PAYING MONTHLY IN SMALL PAYMENTS...ITS EXPENSIVE SO IF YOU PLAN ON BUYING IT MAKE SURE YOU ARE COMMITTED TO THE PROGRAM SO YOU GET YOUR MONIES WORTH.

WHY AM I TYPING IN CAPS...LOL.

'TIL THEN...

Shy People Hold the Key to the Fountain of Youth

This may sound crazy but I'm starting to see a common denominator amongst those that describe themselves as being 'painfully shy' at some point in their lives.

From Donny Osmond to Babyface to ME!! We all look way younger than our true age. I have to do further research on this. I may be wrong but so far its looking like we may have tapped into the mythical FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH!!!!

Until then...

(photo: sxc.hu/nighthawk7)

Famous and/or Successful People with Anxiety Related Disorders - Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds

Famous and/or Successful people of color with Anxiety Related Disorders

Film review #1: Julie and Julia

Let's just say - this is a film after my own heart. I connected with the character Julie (Amy Adams) and fell in love with Julia Child's (beautifully portrayed by Meryl Streep).

My connection with Julie was on so many levels...she started her blog when she was 29ish and I started this blog when I was 29ish. She was looking for something, some sort of fulfillment and so she decided to blog about something she enjoyed - cooking. I, too, was looking for some sort of fulfillment so I decided to connect with others out there by sharing my experience with social anxiety. I was looking to heal, to grow, to create my own therapy to help me get through this anxiety disorder and LIVE my life...in this lifetime.

In Julia and Julia, Julia shares that she has ADD and that by starting a blog that had a specific goal (to cook her way through Julia Child's cookbook in 1 year) she could finally complete something since she felt she has never completed anything in her life.

In some way her blog, like mine, was therapeutic.

If the portrayal of Julia Child's is parallel to the real Julia, then I must say - I love Julia Childs now! I remember seeing her cooking shows and I know she is a pioneer in this field but now I can truly appreciate her and I want to buy a copy of her cooking book, “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” and I want to know more about her life. She is quite an inspiration.

This movie gets 5 smiles from me !!!
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Visit:
http://www.pbs.org/juliachild/

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/24/business/24julia.html

http://www.julieandjulia.com/

The Evolution of Shyness

I skimmed through the latest issue of Psychology Today (I have to buy a subscription to this awesome publication soon!!) and they have a piece that caught my attention called Mixed Signals. I recommend you pick up a copy as I will this week.

I didn't read it but I caught a small part that dealt with 'Shy Extroverts' which I found very intriguing. I don't exactly fit that definition but sometimes I do. I like being around people but people do exhaust me as my anxieties make it sooo difficult to deal with the social aspect that comes with being around people. So I think I'm a bit of a Shy Extrovert but not fully. I think ten years ago I could not say that I was a Shy Extrovert at all...so I think with age the extrovert portion is become a reality just b/c with time I get more comfortable in my own skin.

So I think its safe to say that with time a Shy person or a person with an Anxiety Disorder evolves into other forms, other levels of Shyness. I know I have. I remember crying when I was a little girl when I was in a social situation and now it evolved into something else.

So just a little food for thought and pick up a copy of Psychology Today (I'm not getting paid to tell you this, I really think this is a great publication!!)

I forgot to share this...

I want to learn how to operate a boat. First things first, I have to learn to swim. I am looking into swimming lessons that I can take on sundays when I have free time. Once I learn that, I am seriously looking into how to operate a boat (this will be after I learn to drive of course).

Then maybe one day in a few years, I can own a yacht (but first a house...lol).

Until then...

(photo courtesy of sxc.hu/morca)

The last quarter of 2009 is upon us!

Yes, you and I know...time flies. We have a little over 3 months left before the new year. What have you done this year? Are you satisfied?

For me...I can't answer that difinitively (just yet) but I will in 3 months when I do an assessment of 2009. It seems like just yesterday, I was sharing my goals with you all.

I'm now working 2 jobs...my regular daytime career and now I've added on a night/weekend customer service related job. This extra income will now make it easier to get an apartment in New York without being denied b/c I don't meet the income criteria of 40x's the rent. Its sad that I have to resort to getting a 2nd job since I'm not being paid what I'm worth at my day job but we are still on a salary freeze so I have to do what I have to do to keep moving forward even if it means sacrificing my time with a 2nd job.

I have about 4 interviews lined up (each with authors of anxiety related books) coming up. I've moved a couple of them back due to my new hectic schedule that has also increased my anxiety levels somewhat.

Today is Monday and I have the day off (Labor Day). I should be rebraiding my hair but I'm too tired plus I want to take care of some paperwork instead and I will probably get my braids professionally done next week and pay for it rather than doing it myself this week. Now that I have a 2nd job, I can afford to pamper myself just a little bit every now and then so this is what I'll do next week. I have one more week of training at my 2nd job which is only 2 days and I officially begin on 9/14 so I have to get as much stuff out the way before then b/c I really won't have time to do anything once I start working the 2nd job.

So, I will take my permit test this Thursday (I should have done this months ago...I actually tried a few months ago but when I arrived at the DMV, I was told I was too late). So this Thursday I shall take the permit test AND I SHALL PASS!!!

Once I pass, I will start squeezing in driving lessons and take the road test before mid January b/c my coworker's permit expires in mid to late January and we are motivating each other to get our license by then so she doesn't have to retake the permit test and I can get my license already!!! So, I would like to get this done in December so I have another accomplishment to add to my 2009 round up. Stay tuned.

I will do a separate blog on some face products I ordered and some new things I am doing to make my skin look great!

Until then...

Its the 4th night of training for my evening job...we are on a half hour break...I'm sitting in the cafeteria texting away. I'm a little anxious but not as much as I would expect so I'm doing ok. Still having issues participating in the class and asking for help when I'm stuck.

I'm on the train and these 2 guys keep using the n word