TRIAL PERIOD

I am trying out different applications on this blog so you might see something up one day and gone the next. I am testing different widgets, chats, advertisements, etc. I am trying to make this blog more interactive and engaging.

I have been trying new things for the past hour and I've removed and added so many applications in this short time. I am going to leave it as is and I'll be back, possibly tomorrow to make more changes, adjustments, etc.

Until then...

A READER'S EMAIL AND RECOMMENDATION

READER'S EMAIL:

I came across your blog and I think you are really brave. I, too, also suffer from panic attack and anxiety and I am a black women in my 40's. I first started having panic attacks in my 20's it just came out of nowhere. I don't suffer from it as much anymore because I gave up caring what other people thought of me I don't care if they see my hand shakes or my lip quiver or I'm breathing heavy.

Can I recommend a book to you -"Soothe Your Nerves" by Dr Angela Neal Barnett , her website is Rise Sally Rise. This book was written for black women with anxiety and it helped me alot to read about other black women with the same issue.

I wish you all the best and do now that you WILL conquer this.

IS IT A SIN TO BE SHY?

I remember reading a passage in The Bible a long time ago about shyness. I don't remember exactly what it said but I do remember it described shyness as being a sin, however I'm not too sure so I don't want to state that as a fact.

If anyone has that passage, please share it with me and please offer insight. I would like to get closer to God and my spiritual side and this is a good way to start.

Until then...

STATISTICS

INFO FROM http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/the-numbers-count-mental-disorders-in-america/index.shtml


Anxiety Disorders
Anxiety disorders include panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and phobias (social phobia, agoraphobia, and specific phobia).

Approximately 40 million American adults ages 18 and older, or about 18.1 percent of people in this age group in a given year, have an anxiety disorder. - 1
Anxiety disorders frequently co-occur with depressive disorders or substance abuse. - 1
Most people with one anxiety disorder also have another anxiety disorder. Nearly three-quarters of those with an anxiety disorder will have their first episode by age 21.5 - 5


References
1. Kessler RC, Chiu WT, Demler O, Walters EE. Prevalence, severity, and comorbidity of twelve-month DSM-IV disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication (NCS-R). Archives of General Psychiatry, 2005 Jun;62(6):617-27.


5. Kessler RC, Berglund PA, Demler O, Jin R, Walters EE. Lifetime prevalence and age-of-onset distributions of DSM-IV disorders in the National Comorbidity Survey Replication (NCS-R). Archives of General Psychiatry. 2005 Jun;62(6):593-602.

FOR MORE STATISTICS AND INFO VISIT http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/the-numbers-count-mental-disorders-in-america/index.shtml

Essence Magazine tips:

I read a piece in Essence Magazine which gave tips for finding a good therapist and I thought I should share them with you and I recommend you visit the Essence website. It's a great site!

Basically the tips for finding a therapist are: (This is not word for word & I also added my own angle as well
-Search for providers through your health insurance customer service number or website
-Association of Black Psychologists. (And I also found Black Psychiatrists of America which was not listed in Essence)
-Check out the Ackerma Institute for the Family
-Check out the Black Mental Health Alliance
-And Essence Magazine also suggested that you "try schools with Ph.D., Psy.D. and master's programs that have clincs where student's are trained."

Until then...

XOXOXO

My mom hugged me today. She hugged me from behind while I was sitting and typing away at my laptop. She had just given me a photo of herself and asked me to scan it and email it to her. When I was done, I was going to give her the photo back but she told me I could have it and a little while after that she hugged me.

I can't wait to overcome this anxiety so I won't feel too shy to hug my mom and be affectionate anytime I want.

I realize that time is never on our side and moments with my mom are precious. This moment created a renewed urgency in my fight to overcome my anxiety. I have to overcome NOW.

Until then...

HAPPY LOVE DAY (BELATED)

Dreams from My Father

I am adding this book to my list of books to read as soon as possible. My brother is reading Dreams from My Father, written by Barack Obama, as well. I already had the book so I figure, I might as well read it at the same time as him so we could discuss it.

Anxiety in this economy

The state of the economy is enough to make a shy girl crawl further into her shell but for some reason, I haven't felt an unusual elevation in my anxiety levels since this crisis.

Maybe its because I have a stable job but these days the term "stable job" is an oxymoron at best. I do worry and I am very concerned but I am impressed that I have not lost my optimism.

Everyday, I try to prepare for the worse.

"What if I get laid off today?" "What if my client's company goes bankrupt?" "What if my family's apartment building is bought out and the rent triples?" "What if this and What if that...?"

Its always smart to have a plan and to start to act on that plan JUST IN CASE.

1. Saving money is key...it doesn't matter how small as long as you are consistent.

2. Also protect the assets and savings you have now.

3. Invest WISELY.

4. Sell things you don't use anymore on sites like EBAY but be sure you are pricing them so that you end up with a profit. Don't underestimate the cost of shipping and handling. Trust me...I sold a few items on EBAY and overall I made a profit but I lost money on a couple of items b/c the shipping costs were about double what I had estimated.

5. Polish up and update your resume and cover letter and start perusing job sites to get an idea of what's available, what skills you need, etc.

6. Consider taking classes both online or not (look up grants, scholarships, etc)

7. Put together a list of all your skills and ways you can freelance and make money. Choose the most realistic or feasible and invest a few hours a week to get started. You can put together a portfolio. You can also take advantage of a free website or blog service such as www.blogger.com or www.weebly.com or www.spruz.com or do a search for more free services.

8. Try to make money via www.cafepress.com, www.etsy.com, www.zlio.com or other similar sites.

9. And lastly, here are some random ways to make extra money: songwriting (visit www.ascap.com), mystery shopping, focus groups, part-time jobs/gigs...

G1 and Blogger

I am using my G1 smartphone to post this blog. I couldn't find a Blogger application that is tailored to the G1, so I simply logged in the same way I do when I'm using my laptop and here I am! The only issue I've noticed is that I had to use the 'Edit Html' tab instead of the 'Compose' tab in order for me to type into the body of this post. Also it helps to zoom out so I could view the entire page at once vs. dragging the screen around to accommodate the view.

So, although blogging on my laptop is more user-friendly - I will use this method every now and then. Hope this helps other G1 users who have Blogger accounts.

Until then...

Horchata, anyone?

PHOTO COURTESY OF DIARY OF A SHY BLACK WOMAN

Ever had a horchata? I love them. Its a Mexican drink. I just finished drinking a cup and had 2 tacos. I'm on my 2nd cup which belonged to my boyfriend but he doesn't really like horchata's so he gave it to me.

Anyway, today I was on line at the post office - a long line of people were in front of me and behind me when I decided to make a phone call. It was pretty quiet in the post office despite the people and I found myself getting very anxious as I started to talk to the person on the other end of the line. It was my boyfriend. I kept the conversation short and hung up only to follow up with a text message just to explain the rush off the phone.

Other than that, it was the usual tension filled environment at work today. It was mixed with an overwhelming load of work and a little down time and a sprinkle of conversation to round out the day.

I'm glad to be home right now. I'm going to take care of some paperwork and hit the bed. I will file my taxes this weekend.

Until then...

The View

I met Whoopi Goldberg, Barbara Walters, Sheri Shepherd, Joy Behar & Elizabeth Hasselbeck and I saw a life changing movie called THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON.

I'll elaborate in a future blog.

Today was a good day!

Photo courtesy of Diary of a Shy Black Woman

Until then...

; - >

Today was boring...work, meeting and running errands at the post office (money orders, mail, etc.) Nothing exciting.



I do recommend that you follow Erykah Badu on Twitter. Here is the link: http://twitter.com/fatbellybella



She just had a baby girl and she updates her Twitter often.



At lunch today, we conversed about babies. I had lunch with one of the ladies that I normally have lunch with and a lady that I've never had lunch with. Both are older than me...I like a more mature crowd at work so I tend to gravitate towards that it seems (as of late). I normally have lunch with another lady as well but she is younger than me by about 2 years (however she is very mature).



We talked about babies...its a hard job raising a child but I still want children someday. God help me...I hope I have enough energy to keep up with a child when I have one or two or three...

; - >

Photo courtesy of Diary of a Shy Black Woman

Lost in the city

I was lost in the city today. I used to travel all the time - all over Manhattan...uptown, downtown, eastside, westside, midtown...you name it. I was well versed in in public transportation but now I realize that Arizona did a number on me...lol. I was lost trying to find a specific address after being directed to another location from where I was originally planning on going...make sense? And then I had a second place to go but I had looked up directions on how to get there from my job but I wasn't near my job, so I had a hard time figuring out how to get to this other destination from my new location.

I found myself walking towards the wrong avenues and then doing U-turns to the correct avenue. Note: The avenues in Manhattan are longer than the streets (i.e. a walk from 2nd to 3rd avenue is much longer than from 19th street to 20th street). So after much walking and not getting anywhere, I headed home with a few short stops along the way.

If I weren't so shy, I'd have asked for directions. I ask for directions when I'm desperate but tonight wasn't one of those moments.

The photo below was taken this evening after I had decided to head home.

- Until then...

Photo courtesy of Diary of a Shy Black Woman

SuperBowl

Are you gonna watch? I'm not...maybe half time. I joined an office pool, though. Hope I win some money. In these economic times, every bit helps. Even when the economy is going well, every bit still helps.

I'm sitting at the computer watching Our World this Sunday afternoon. My boyfriend stepped out to get some lunch for us...he is so sweet (in a masculine way, of course...lol).

Anyway, I'm going to keep this short. I will try to figure out a way I can blog from my G1 phone so that I can give you more updates as they happen and send photos. I'm not sure if that is possible from my phone but I will find out. (My boyfriend bought me the G1 for Christmas, not sure if I mentioned that in an earlier post.) The phone is great but I can't wait until they create a flash player application for it. Then it will take the experience to entirely different level!

Until then...


*****added 2/02/09: Jennifer Hudson's performance was emotional and amazing!