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Friday, November 24, 2006

...MORE EFFECTIVE

Reader:
Social Anxiety, yes I think I was born with it, I can't remember ever being able to look some one in the eye, and actually listen to them without thinking what will I say, when it is my turn. That is why I interrupt all the time, and I am not a good listener, that has been getting worse. I am really working on that, I want to be more social, but people make me nurvious.I grew up shy, and as you can probably tell dislexic in a day when no one understood that problem. My calss mates thought I was stuck up, so they pretty much left me alone. Yes painfully shy, I can understand that feeling verry well. I once took a personality test, "Myers Brigs" I am 1 in 100. an interavert pretending to be an extravert. a born actor I think us painfully shy people are proboably all very good actores just living in this culture, acting like we fit in, it is exhosting!30 is not old. certainly not to old. Look at the actores on TV, and in the movies, they are not all beutiful people, or exceptionally briliant. But they are all confident, and they don't take being turned down personally, these are trates, we need just to enjoy every day life. Your dream is not out of reach, just be patient, keep working on those anxziety problems, you can't make it in that busingess and take offence from any one. Remember what Lucinda says be less affected, and more effective. You have to know who you are. I can see from your webpage you are a good writer, that in it self is a start. have you taken any acting classes, dance, or tryed out for a local theater groope. I have leaned you need to do something, while you are waiting for you big brake, you need to be preparing, to step out when the time comes.Keep Looking up

DiaryOfaShyBlackWoman:
Thank you so much. I really felt your words as I read them. I feel more motivated. We have much in common. Many people think I am stuck up when I am just extremely anxious and then I get a bad vibe from them and it makes it that much harder for me to open up.
I want to take an acting class. I already shopped around for some and the only thing that is stopping me is that I am scared. I already have the money and everything to get started. I have acted in a student film before (it was only a couple of lines) and it happened so fast. I was asked to do it at the last minute and I did a good job according to all the people that saw it and the thing is I felt pretty comfortable while I was doing it. I was someone else.
I know what you mean when you say that people with these sort of anxieties are acting everyday. I certainly am putting up a facade and pretending all the time and it is very exhausting.
I must say, I woke up feeling unmotivated and after reading your message, I feel a whole lot better. Thank you!!

2 comments:

  1. Howdy shy woman, reading your blog takes me back, i am kind of still there but not as intensely as you are feeling it. I know how painful and isolating social anxiety is. My heart goes out to you, and I hope you can overcome the obstacles in front of you. I found a certain type of cognitive behavoural therapy helpful , together with the meds Effexor also.Excuse spelling iv'e had one or five drinks.
    I do not experience the intense self critical dialogue, and self observation I used to, but now find myself quite different from many others anyway, in that I really have no call for bullshit social conventions, and much prefer to be myself even if sometimes the situation doesn't call for it, which can sometimes put me in the social pariah position i used to dread so much. Whether it is me rejecting some of the silly social conventions we have generally or rebelling against previous instincts iv'e held for over 15 years i am not sure.
    Anyway excuse me I am rambling, good luck in your fight, you seem like you have the stuff to overcome it from what I have read.
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  2. Keep reading. Keep writing to me! You rock!
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