TO ALL THE MEN WHO READ MY BLOG...

THANK YOU TO ALL THE MEN THAT READ MY BLOG!  MEN DEAL WITH THIS ISSUE, TOO!

I'm sooooo late but Happy New Year!

Please follow me on Twitter @painfullyshy because I have updates that I want to fill you in 140 characters or less...LOL.

I will be posting longer articles/posts here on my blog soon!

Time for SOLUTIONS to anxiety

If you read my blog and social anxiety has crippled your life, then you know that I know how you feel.  In the words of Iyanla Vanzant, It Ends Today.  No more feeling alone because you are not alone.  When you feel like no one understands you, you have to know that MILLIONS of people understand you...we just don't talk about it out in the open like that.  Only close family and friends and people who you HAVE to tell such as doctors and on some occassions - employers, might know.  Even then, they don't TRULY understand unless it impacts them.

So with that said, I am on a new journey to overcome my debilitating anxieties.  This blog is taking it to the next level.  I want to get to the solutions and put them into PRACTICE no matter how hard it is.  That is the only way to fight it.  STOP thinking about it and start DOING it.

Something happened to me today that made me think to myself, ENOUGH ALREADY!  It pertained to jury duty.  Without getting into detail, I realized that I have become addicted to avoiding EVERYTHING. It has even penetrated areas that are not fully social, like emails. 

Over the years, this blog has been therapy because it has enabled me to connect with others who share my experiences and it has just allowed me to vent about my observations, experiences, frustrations, etc, as it pertains to social anxiety. 

TODAY is a NEW DAY and I realize that I have not done enough.  I have not put my all into it like I have done with trying to please others or trying to appear to be as perfect as possible - trying to make it seem like everything is okay has been what I have put my all into.   It is time to put YOUR all into it. It is time for me to put my ALL into it.  We can do this. 

I will be back with a blog later today about all the confusion that is out there in the marketing of social anxiety from books to medications.  I have something valuable to say about this.

Until then....
DOASBW

An old post that I had on Myspace, sharing it here since I am deleting the old Myspace account

Apr 29, 2007


The Advice Minute #1



Here is some advice I shared with some virtual friends at Careplace.com and I thought I should post it here as well.



I feel the same...when the attention turns to me, my anxiety escalates rapidly and I try to hurry up my sentences to get the focus off of me ASAP. In doing this I sometimes stutter and get so nervous that I can't even focus on the question at hand and I lose my train of thought sometimes. And then I feel even more stupid afterwards which makes it continuously worse each and every time because I think back to my last experience and dread the upcoming situations.



I think that it could be a combination of lack of social skills and other things. If you lack social skills or if you were never taught how to communicate effectively and you end up avoiding social situations, you will never learn those skills so it is a cycle that is hard to break from.



I would suggest listening to self help cds and also finding a cognitive behavioral therapists. If you do not have any or enough insurance coverage and you can't pay out of pocket you should try to go to a public hospital and find out about sliding scale fees based on income, maybe some private hospitals and clinics have that option too. I'm not certain. Also, you can try to find a group session that might be offered in your community. Do an online search.



Another thing is music that is empowering. Listen to upbeat songs that make you feel optimistic like "Unwritten" and "Survivor", etc.



I am struggling with my social anxiety and recently found a therapist and I am praying she will help me. I have had 2 sessions so far but the 1st couple of sessions are usually about the therapist trying to get a feel for who you are and how she can help you so I hope my next session will start making changes within me.



Also, I am enrolling in a child psychology class next semester and I think that will help me learn more about how I got this way. In the meantime I have a book on the subject that I read every now and then. It is a good resource.



2:20 PM

How to keep up with me!!

I don't post on this blog as much as I used to but if you want to keep up with me:

Follow me at:
@painfullyshy on Twitter

and

visit www.wallflower-power.com

also,

check out http://asperourconversation.blogspot.com/ which is where I post examples of great conversations and speeches that we can all use to improve our speaking skills!

You can also find me on:
Facebook: wallflowerpower
Blogtalkradio: wallflowerpower
CafePress: wallflowerpower


I am deleting the old Myspace account.

Social Anxiety Meetup plus Working from Home

I started a social anxiety meetup group in NYC! Finally! Also, I've been feeling a surge of social anxiety and panic since taking a break from therapy. I had to request that I work from home for a little bit. It took a while to explain my situation but my job granted me this option for a while, it is not permanant.

Unbearable Blushing, Brandon Thomas' Suicide

I read an article on MSNBC about blushing. A young man commited suicide because of unbearable blushing. I couldn't help but to see the similarities between unbearable blusing and social anxiety. I wish I could have met this young man and encouraged him to hold on. I pray for his family to find peace. They are going to try to spread the word about unbearable blushing so I wanted to do my part and inform you all about this. If anyone out there knows more about unbearable blushing, please leave a comment or email me. I have dark brown skin so it is not obvious when I blush but I can only imagine what this young man had to go through. It would be unbearable for me to if everyone could see when I blush and it was obvious that I was feeling anxieties. At least I can sort of hide it from everyone and people don't really know when I'm anxious. I wanted to reach out to his parents to express my condolences but I can't find a website or email address. Please read the article here: (http://vitals.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/07/11/12644071-unbearable-blushing-parents-speak-out-about-sons-suicide?lite) Rest in peace, Brandon Thomas. My heart goes out to his parents and his twin brother.

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